Used AI to translate, English isn't my first language.
Quick background: I've known her for years through mutual friends. Always had chemistry, but we were never actually friends and nothing ever happened. Hadn't seen her in a long while.
Timeline:
- Wed, May 27 – Ran into her by chance (she was doing calisthenics on the beach). We walked together and caught up for a long time.
- Sat, May 30 – She texts me saying she needs to talk to me, and that it has to be in person.
- Wed, June 3 – We meet up. Long, deep, personal conversation. She tells me she's just broken up with her partner.
- June 6–9 – She's away on a family trip, and the whole time she's messaging me constantly on Instagram: that she remembers me, that she wants to see me, sending photos of what she's doing. I reciprocate fully — openly flirting, the way you talk to someone you're into. At one point I straight up tell her I want to kiss her. She doesn't reject it.
- Sun, June 14 – We meet up. Coffee first, then I help her move some furniture. I go for a first kiss. She turns it down — says it's "not her moment": really low self-esteem right now, fresh out of that relationship, and her ex (who made her feel small).
I think I handled the moment well — apologized lightly for misreading, owned that I'm attracted to her without making it weird, said no pressure, gave her space. She responded warmly: thanked me, said I'm someone she can talk to and that I "give her calm," said she has "some unknowns too," and that she'd like to get coffee again.
Since then (it's now the next day) the warm, intense daily contact has just continued like normal — good-morning texts, asking how my day's going, asking my opinion on a job she's applying for. Her baseline contact is high.
Full honesty: I'm a recovering anxious attacher and I'm trying hard to read this straight instead of through hope, so I want outside eyes.
Where does this actually stand? She made herself single in front of me, chased me for two weeks, didn't shut down explicit flirting — then froze at the actual kiss and retreated into "not now." Is this a genuine "real feelings, bad timing" situation, or am I just a safe, comfortable ego-boost for someone in a messy rebound? Where can this realistically go, and what should I be doing in the meantime?
My biggest fear is ending up in the friendzone, or in resentment. I don't want any of that.
TL;DR: Years of chemistry, no history. She got newly single, pursued me hard for two weeks, didn't reject my flirting, then turned down the kiss with "not my moment / low self-esteem / recent ex." Now keeping up warm daily contact. What's actually going on, and where can it realistically go?
